Startup Idea... Diners! Only with EV Chargers

Monday, under the scorched hallucination of a smog-stained California sky,

Tesla cracked open the gates to its first retro-futuristic “Diner & Drive-In”, a fever dream ripped straight out of some Jetsons-era acid trip. Eighty gleaming Supercharger stalls humming like an electric beehive.

Two monstrous 45-foot LED movie screens pulsing corporate-approved nostalgia into the eyes of anyone willing to stare.

And, of course—because we’ve tumbled so far down this techno-rabbit hole—there’s a popcorn-dispensing Optimus robot, slinging snacks with the same dead-eyed cheer as a Disneyland animatronic on its fifth firmware update.

Elon, the great neon prophet himself, swears this is just the beginning. He’ll scatter these chrome-plated shrines along every major highway and city until America looks like some hyperloop-pilled Buc-ee’s acid flashback—a Cambrian explosion of glowing, e/acc-coded truck stops for the cult of Progress.

And hell, I can’t even pretend it wouldn’t improve my life in some twisted, nontrivial way.

The 1950s diner aesthetic isn’t just some kitschy accident—it’s a signal, a resurrection of the last time America still believed in a good future.

Back when Tomorrowland opened in 1955 and we thought the Jetsons were a promise, not a parody. That weird, fleeting decade of big chrome dreams before the acid wore off and we realized the future had teeth.

And here’s the kicker.

The unhinged glimmer of hope in this fever dream: maybe, just maybe, Elon does more Imagineering, the awesome, the beautiful, the insane-but-it-works kind.

Less of the cursed “AI sexbots for weebs” pipeline. More of the good stuff. The future we wanted. The future we lost.

So yeah, I’m standing there under the flickering glow of this Hollywood diner from a timeline that never really happened, wondering: Is this salvation… or just another mirage in the desert?

Want me to punch this up even harder with more Thompson gonzo chaos. Like, wild detours into SpaceX rockets, crypto hucksters, and techno-nihilism.

Oor keep it tight and cinematic like this?