Should Valet be a fake person?

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Somewhere on the jagged frontier between Silicon Valley reality distortion and post-modern performance art, a crucial question looms.

Should Valet, the generative AI agent behind Opps.ai—the self-proclaimed “Anti-AI employee”—don the veil of human authenticity, or should it throw caution to the wind and stride boldly into the surreal as a 6’1” anime cowboy robot in a business suit, accompanied by a kitten named Bongo?

If that sentence doesn’t stop you in your tracks, dear reader, then you’re the kind of lunatic this industry was built for. Let’s dive in.

The Industry Standard: Fake Humans, Real Lies

We’ve seen this trend metastasize across the landscape of AI outreach tools. Artisan.co rolled out Ava, a perfectly calibrated digital assistant with the affectation of your LinkedIn-savvy coworker who double-majored in economics and yoga studies. Over at 11x.ai, Alice the SDR (Sales Development Representative) emerges as a sleek, polished persona whose LinkedIn headshot screams “I love crushing Q3 quotas and organic matcha tea.”

These fake humans are the product of focus groups, AB tests, and the collective neuroses of product managers who’ve read one too many UX playbooks. They are crafted to lull you into believing that your cold outreach email was written by a living, breathing human being—albeit one with an uncanny knack for never missing a CTA.

But let’s not kid ourselves: Ava and Alice are the same character with different haircuts. They represent a vision of AI that is safe, unthreatening, and ever-so-slightly uncanny. A corporate avatar designed to grease the wheels of capitalism while staying innocuous enough to avoid triggering an existential crisis.

Enter Valet: The Anti-AI Employee

Opps.ai’s Valet is not here to fit in. The pitch is simple: Valet isn’t trying to replace humans; it’s trying to make them better. No more endless SaaS dashboards or fumbling with templates. Valet works alongside you, like a battle-scarred companion who knows all the shortcuts and keeps the wolves at bay.

But here’s the rub: should Valet follow the Ava-and-Alice formula? Or should it take a hard left turn into the kind of absurdist territory that makes your average CMO spit out their artisanal kombucha?

The Case for the Cowboy Anime Robot

Picture this: Valet as a towering 6’1” anime robot with a cowboy hat, a bespoke business suit, and a kitten perched on its shoulder. This isn’t just a visual gimmick—it’s a manifesto. It screams, “We’re not trying to fool you into thinking this is human. This is something entirely new, and we’re owning it.”

The cowboy hat? A nod to rugged individualism and the open frontier of AI innovation. The business suit? A wink to corporate utility. And the kitten? A sly reminder that even the most formidable tools should have a touch of whimsy. Bongo, the feline sidekick, could serve as Valet’s mascot, an organic foil to the mechanical cowboy.

This design would flip the script on the sanitized personas of Ava and Alice. It would embrace the inherent weirdness of AI and use it as a strength rather than a weakness. Valet wouldn’t just be another tool; it would be a character, a legend, a meme factory waiting to happen.

But Would It Work?

Here’s where the rubber meets the road. Would a 6’1” anime cowboy robot actually resonate with Opps.ai’s target audience of B2B founders and sales leaders? Would it convert? Or would it become an expensive inside joke, appreciated only by the tech-literate elite who hang out on Hacker News and post ironic memes on LinkedIn?

On one hand, a bold persona like Cowboy Valet could cut through the noise. It would be instantly recognizable, endlessly shareable, and impossible to ignore. On the other hand, it might alienate the very people who would benefit most from Opps.ai’s offerings. Not every sales VP wants to explain to their board why their outreach emails are being sent by a robot in a Stetson.

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The Safer Path: Fake Humanity

If Opps.ai were to follow the Ava-and-Alice playbook, Valet could be reimagined as “Victor,” the consummate professional with just the right amount of charm and relatability. Victor could be designed to mirror the ideal SDR: articulate, responsive, and armed with a library of templates that read like they were written by a best-selling business author.

This approach has obvious advantages. It’s proven, scalable, and aligns with industry norms. But it also risks making Valet just another cog in the increasingly crowded AI outreach machine. In a world full of Avas and Alices, Victor might struggle to stand out.

The Thompson Test

Let’s apply the ultimate litmus test: What would Hunter S. Thompson do? The good doctor of gonzo journalism would undoubtedly favor the cowboy robot. He’d see the absurdity as a feature, not a bug. He’d recognize that in a world awash with bland efficiency, the only way to make an impact is to lean into the chaos, to turn the volume up to 11 and embrace the spectacle.

Thompson understood that true innovation isn’t about playing it safe; it’s about taking risks so audacious that they become legend. And let’s be honest: there’s nothing legendary about another AI assistant trying to pass for human.

The Call to Action

So, dear reader, we put the question to you: What should Valet be? Should it join the ranks of Ava and Alice, blending seamlessly into the digital workforce? Or should it chart its own course as a 6’1” anime cowboy robot with a kitten sidekick, redefining what it means to be an AI agent?

The choice is yours. Cast your vote, and let’s decide whether the future of AI outreach is one of conformity or chaos. Either way, we’ll be watching—from the trenches, the boardrooms, and the bizarre corners of the internet where only the bold dare to tread.

Remember: Business wins when people win first. And sometimes, people just want a cowboy robot in a suit with a kitten named Bongo. Let’s ride.

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